Wednesday, April 6
Oh... and PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT
Having You is Enough
I'm not ready to give up on you, or us just yet.
Maybe I'm not ready to give up because I know what kind of guy you are capable of being, or maybe it's because I know the father you can be... who knows.
Perhaps I didn't give credit where credit was due.
...God knows I can be a bitch, maybe I pushed your buttons one too many times?
Although I know I am partly at fault, I think you are as well.
I want what we used to have, and I think that's an attainable goal. Especially if all we have to do is put in some genuine effort and TRY. What relationship doesn't require work?
I love you Ker-bear. ;)
I think we can do this.
Xoxo
Monday, April 4
Sunday, April 3
Overall A Good Day
Rilynn slept from 12:00am to 7:00am, then again until 10:00am, and then we napped on the couch till noon.
(What a good start to the day, right?)
This nice weather better be sticking around or else I might go a little ballistic. I want to be outsiiiiide! I want to walk around the park with Rilynn in her cute little stroller! I want to wear flip flops, dresses, shorts tank tops and t-shirts! Well, not all at the same time but you get the idea. Normally I would be pumped to lay out and go tanning, but in order to get this girl into a bathing suit this Summer....that bathing suit better come with a whole new body. Everyone tries to tell you what it's going to be like after you squeeze that baby out...but it's never as bad as it really is. I would rather be pregnant again...(I think Kerry would disagree with that though.)
I truly commend these women for posting pictures of their post pregnancy bodies online for anyone to see, but more so because they find the beauty in their post pregnancy bodies. I'd give anything for that. I don't mean to sound sorry for myself, and you're probably thinking "why don't you just go work out?" but it's not easy to just go work out with an almost 3 1/2 month old baby. (OMG. She's almost 4 months old!)
Today is one of those days where things just seem to come into perspective, and everything makes sense. Like when you figure out how to do your math assignment without looking in the back of the book. ;)
I just want things to hurry up and fall into place. I'm sad to say that my life isn't at the point where I'm completely happy with it.
I want to be the absolute best I can for Rilynn's sake, no matter how hard it is. I don't want to fail her. I would do anything for her, and I hope Kerry would say the same. I sometimes wonder if she would have had it better if Kerry and I decided to give her up for adoption, but I don't wonder too long because it hurts my heart to think of her being anywhere else but here.
She's absolutely everything to me. I feel lucky to have her, especially when I think of those parents out there who have children with medical problems, disabilities, who have even had children pass away or even couples who can't conceive. I am blessed to have a healthy baby girl, no matter how big of a surprise she was. She definitely puts the light in my life.
Excuse me while I go kiss my baby girl.
(What a good start to the day, right?)
This nice weather better be sticking around or else I might go a little ballistic. I want to be outsiiiiide! I want to walk around the park with Rilynn in her cute little stroller! I want to wear flip flops, dresses, shorts tank tops and t-shirts! Well, not all at the same time but you get the idea. Normally I would be pumped to lay out and go tanning, but in order to get this girl into a bathing suit this Summer....that bathing suit better come with a whole new body. Everyone tries to tell you what it's going to be like after you squeeze that baby out...but it's never as bad as it really is. I would rather be pregnant again...(I think Kerry would disagree with that though.)
I truly commend these women for posting pictures of their post pregnancy bodies online for anyone to see, but more so because they find the beauty in their post pregnancy bodies. I'd give anything for that. I don't mean to sound sorry for myself, and you're probably thinking "why don't you just go work out?" but it's not easy to just go work out with an almost 3 1/2 month old baby. (OMG. She's almost 4 months old!)
Today is one of those days where things just seem to come into perspective, and everything makes sense. Like when you figure out how to do your math assignment without looking in the back of the book. ;)
I just want things to hurry up and fall into place. I'm sad to say that my life isn't at the point where I'm completely happy with it.
I want to be the absolute best I can for Rilynn's sake, no matter how hard it is. I don't want to fail her. I would do anything for her, and I hope Kerry would say the same. I sometimes wonder if she would have had it better if Kerry and I decided to give her up for adoption, but I don't wonder too long because it hurts my heart to think of her being anywhere else but here.
She's absolutely everything to me. I feel lucky to have her, especially when I think of those parents out there who have children with medical problems, disabilities, who have even had children pass away or even couples who can't conceive. I am blessed to have a healthy baby girl, no matter how big of a surprise she was. She definitely puts the light in my life.
Excuse me while I go kiss my baby girl.
Friday, April 1
Just venting.
Okay
1. You have a baby. Congratulations!
But just because I also have a baby doesn't mean I'm going to be your BFF. We were never close before you found out I was knocked up. Yes, we have something in common. But this does not by any means bond us together in some sort of sisterhood. SO LEAVE ME ALONE. No, I don't want to "do lunch". No, I don't want to have a play date. For one our children aren't old enough to "play" which means I'll be stuck making meaningless conversation with you (and making a gun with my fingers and pretending to shoot my brains onto the wall while you turn around.)
Why don't you get some REAL friends.
2. Cool, you have a camera. REAL neat.
I also have a camera, but you don't see me advertising myself as a photographer do you? No you don't.
Do you see me harassing people to let me take pictures of their kids? Once again, NO you don't.
There is a reason you are having to practically harass people to let you photograph there child... you aren't good. You take shitty pictures. YOU would have to pay ME to let you take pictures of Rilynn.
You need to stop getting so butt hurt because people don't want your business. This is America, where I have the freedom to choose any freaking photographer I want. And it's NOT you.
So just give it up. You are ridiculous. Grow up.
Vent over.
1. You have a baby. Congratulations!
But just because I also have a baby doesn't mean I'm going to be your BFF. We were never close before you found out I was knocked up. Yes, we have something in common. But this does not by any means bond us together in some sort of sisterhood. SO LEAVE ME ALONE. No, I don't want to "do lunch". No, I don't want to have a play date. For one our children aren't old enough to "play" which means I'll be stuck making meaningless conversation with you (and making a gun with my fingers and pretending to shoot my brains onto the wall while you turn around.)
Why don't you get some REAL friends.
2. Cool, you have a camera. REAL neat.
I also have a camera, but you don't see me advertising myself as a photographer do you? No you don't.
Do you see me harassing people to let me take pictures of their kids? Once again, NO you don't.
There is a reason you are having to practically harass people to let you photograph there child... you aren't good. You take shitty pictures. YOU would have to pay ME to let you take pictures of Rilynn.
You need to stop getting so butt hurt because people don't want your business. This is America, where I have the freedom to choose any freaking photographer I want. And it's NOT you.
So just give it up. You are ridiculous. Grow up.
Vent over.
I feel better. :)
Yesterday
The UPS man delivered Rilynn's Bumbo and mobile yesterday!
Her Bumbo in action:
Her Bumbo in action:
 |
| Sup? |
She loves this thing, and I can't take her out of it without her throwing a mini fit for a minute or so afterwards. Even when she gets tired and can't sit up anymore, she STILL wants to be in it.
Exhibit A-
She also loves her mobile. So much for it helping her fall asleep at night, she just squeals and babbles at the little animals and kicks her little feet.
Her looking at her mobile-
 |
| How cute is she?! :) |
I am pretty sure she is teething. She constantly chews on EVERYTHING, drools like crazy and isn't a very happy camper. Yesterday she cried almost all day which isn't like her and she wouldn't sleep unless it was in my arms, or in my lap. So needless to say, I didn't get much done. I didn't even shower until I could get her to sleep at 9:30. Ah, the joys of motherhood.
Her umbilical hernia is looking so much better. Almost like a normal bellybutton! It should go away by itself by the time she is two, if not before. If it doesn't go away by then she'll have to have surgery. BUT I have to watch it carefully because her intestines could get strangled inside the defect (basically a hole in her abdominal wall where the umbilical cord was attached that didn't close up all of the way) and could require surgery immediately if that happens.
I'll post more later, Rilynn is demanding some attention. :)
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