(What a good start to the day, right?)
This nice weather better be sticking around or else I might go a little ballistic. I want to be outsiiiiide! I want to walk around the park with Rilynn in her cute little stroller! I want to wear flip flops, dresses, shorts tank tops and t-shirts! Well, not all at the same time but you get the idea. Normally I would be pumped to lay out and go tanning, but in order to get this girl into a bathing suit this Summer....that bathing suit better come with a whole new body. Everyone tries to tell you what it's going to be like after you squeeze that baby out...but it's never as bad as it really is. I would rather be pregnant again...(I think Kerry would disagree with that though.)
I truly commend these women for posting pictures of their post pregnancy bodies online for anyone to see, but more so because they find the beauty in their post pregnancy bodies. I'd give anything for that. I don't mean to sound sorry for myself, and you're probably thinking "why don't you just go work out?" but it's not easy to just go work out with an almost 3 1/2 month old baby. (OMG. She's almost 4 months old!)
Today is one of those days where things just seem to come into perspective, and everything makes sense. Like when you figure out how to do your math assignment without looking in the back of the book. ;)
I just want things to hurry up and fall into place. I'm sad to say that my life isn't at the point where I'm completely happy with it.
I want to be the absolute best I can for Rilynn's sake, no matter how hard it is. I don't want to fail her. I would do anything for her, and I hope Kerry would say the same. I sometimes wonder if she would have had it better if Kerry and I decided to give her up for adoption, but I don't wonder too long because it hurts my heart to think of her being anywhere else but here.
She's absolutely everything to me. I feel lucky to have her, especially when I think of those parents out there who have children with medical problems, disabilities, who have even had children pass away or even couples who can't conceive. I am blessed to have a healthy baby girl, no matter how big of a surprise she was. She definitely puts the light in my life.
Excuse me while I go kiss my baby girl.
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